Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Etiquette at the Gym

Back in February of 2008 I posted about etiquette at the gym, with the New Year among us I thought this might be a great time to re-post the "Rules of the Gym."

"Really......come on people. This has just been driving me crazy for the last month and I cant hold it in any longer. So here goes. Rules of the Gym (of course my rules, but ahhhhhhhhhh)

1. If the minimum age for people allowed in the workout area of the gym is 13, then do not bring you 7 year old and let them "just use the machine next to you till someone else comes in." This is the south, we are nice, even to children, so we are not going to make them get off the machine, NO we will wait while our heart rate drops so your kid can play on the machine that we want to use.

2. If you sweat (don't worry we all do) and you finish your workout and your machine is covered in YOUR sweat, wipe it off!!! The gym provides little sanitary wipes for this exact purpose.

3. If the TV is on fine, I like to watch while I workout too. Please just ask those in the room if they are watching that channel. IF THEY ARE DON'T CHANGE IT! If they don't care that the channel is changed, good but please don't change it to the same thing that is on the TV beside it (or two TV down)

4. Just because someone has on headphones does not mean they cannot hear what you are saying. Let's just leave that at that.

5. If there are 5 identical treadmills side by side, why do you want to get on the one beside me. Really!

6. The lanes in the pool are for swimming and walking laps, not for a private area for you and your spouse and your 13 kids to swim. If no one is in the pool, ROCK ON swim in every inch of the pool, but if you see people are waiting to swim and walk but cant because you are playing in the lane move.


I think this needs to be addressed too, these are more for laughs than for serious, but still venting here.

1. SPANDEX- girls I love some spandex too, keeps from setting my thighs on fire, and keeps my knee brace from sliding and digging into my legs, that said, I wear my spandex under my clothes not as my clothes. I know it holds you in and make you feel super skinny, but spandex has a weight limit, 95 lbs. So unless you are a child or a adult ballerina or an IT girl in Hollywood, you exceed that weight limit, cover up.

2. I have boobs, when I am in the locker room changing, I am not going to hide in the stall because I'm fat and change in there. If you want to look, look, I do not care, but take your peek and then get along with your business. Additionally, the same 7 year old boy that took my machine should not be changing in the women's locker room. If he is big enough to know what "boobies" are then he is big enough to put on his own pants in the boys locker room.

3. Bikinis should be banned from health clubs, that's all.

4. And finally, where do they get the mirrors in the locker rooms, CAUSE I LOVE THEM. I want one for every room in my house and I want the walls in my bedroom covered in them. I want one at the office and Wal-Mart and my rear view changed. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and think "dang I look good" then I get home and shower up, and I don't ever look the same in my mirror at home.

OK so those are my rules and I think that every health spa in America should adopt them. Also, I would like to stress to everyone that I do like kids(I want a whole litter of my own some day), at restaurants, sporting events and just about everywhere but put them in child care at the gym!!!! Most gyms have it, even smaller gyms."

I thought you might like that again and since there are fixing to be 3000 new members at the gym maybe 3-4 or them might read this. I can dream big cant I. I put my goal loss at 150lbs. so obviously I have big dreams.


Anonymous said...

I am laughing out loud at this at my computer, in the office and people are looking at me like I have a third eye. So thank you :)

I'm in the gym 5-6 days a week and could not agree with you more.

I think you should address the female makeup wearers in the gym as well... I don't know about your gym, but mine is full of women more focused on finding a husband or an extra marital affair than working their ass off. :)

beachy350zGrrl said...

I purposefully used to go to the gym looking like hell just so the makeup-wearers would stare hhahah....stare at my toned legs, biotch! haha!!! now i do admit i used to go...with makeup on...because i went immediately after leaving work....and i came out looking like someone tried to drown me in a pool of sweat. but still, the makeup-wearers stared like, "omg she like totally let her makeup get ruined! ICK!" eat toe jam, prissy gals!

350zgirl said...

oh let me tell you too about the tiny little asian women who do the back extension machine. i'm like really?? REALLY? You are 70 lbs. you need to go eat a SANDWICH. and get off the treadmill!!!! you are wasting electricity!!!!!

another classic one is the douche who wears a regular polo shirt and KHAKI PANTS to workout. I don't get it, I probably never will but i want to shake these types of people's heads until i can hear them rattle lol

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