Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Diet Quotes sooooo Inspirational

Ok so I was surfing the Internet...something I do frequently looking at diet and exercises tips, you know stuff like that. Anyway I came across some of the funniest quotes about diets that I have ever read. Please read them, I think you will get a chuckle out of these.....

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. ~Author Unknown

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge. ~Paula Poundstone

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. ~Roseanne Barr

I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me! ~Author Unknown

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. ~Mae West

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. ~Totie Fields

Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends. ~Author Unknown

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. ~Author Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney

The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor. ~Author Unknown

Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. ~Beth McCollister

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. ~Author Unknown

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990. ~Dave Barry

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. ~Jennifer Greene Duncan

Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can't even get into my own pants. ~Author Unknown

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~Author Unknown

I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu. ~Jane Wagner

Where do you go to get anorexia? ~Shelley Winters

I think I just ate my willpower. ~Author Unknown

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it. ~Jackie Gleason

I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. ~Ed Bluestone

I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it? ~Author Unknown

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. ~Erma Bombeck

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad. ~Janette Barber

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ~Orson Welles

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when." ~P.G. Wodehouse

I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops. ~Marie Mott

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back. ~Robert Quillen

Hope you enjoy.

2 comments:

Mack & Amanda said...

Hilarious!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

its a user friendly website very easy to navigate from mobile and desktop
read your favorite quotes by clicking the link below
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