Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The FatGirl Dictionary

I have been working on this for quite a while and I will say there will probably be some additions to it in the future.  You may want to save this page in your favorites and use it as a reference.  This are common terms used on this blog or directly out of my mouth.  Sometimes people have no idea what I am talking about.  Most of the terms have to do with being fat, and bless their hearts! skinny people will just not understand some of them.  But there are a few in here that can be enjoyed by the masses. I thought it was only fair to let you guys in on some of my terms and there definitions.

Thighitis-  This is a condition that cause by a persons thighs constantly touching...sitting down, standing up, it really doesn't matter if they constantly touch.

The Creep-   This is when a pair of shorts that are too short for someone (probably someone suffering from Thighitis) crawl up between their legs and make a nice little gather at the top of the legs bottom of the toot area.  Very uncomfortable and leaves nothing but skin on the thighs to touch for several inches.  This is one reason it is not ideal for the big girls to wear spandex under regular shorts, the spandex make it to where you cant feel the over shorts and they can be lodged in this position for a while before it is ever known.

The Shift-  When The Creep is beginning, and you can usually feel it, The Shift is a picky little side step that one can do to allow the pants to fall back to there original position before they get completely up your butt.  This has to be done with the greatest of ease for two reasons...1. You don't want anyone to realize what is actually happening so you preform the shift to release the shorts.  2.  If not preformed properly you have to take you hand and drag your shorts from between your thighs and lets just face it...that ain't pretty.

Jiggly Parts-  I think this one is pretty self explanatory....its parts that jiggle!

Under Arm Connector Muscle-  This is a pec muscle that is right across the upper part of the chest.  It feels like the muscle that connects the chest to the bicep.  You really only notice this muscle group after bench presses and push ups.  When it hurts it hurts bad!

The Clap-  This one is my favorite, and there is not a hard body anywhere in the world that has to deal with this one.  The clap is when two sections of fleshy (or flabby) fat or skin are exposed to each other with such force that it causes a clapping sound.  This can happen under the arms against the upper body, the thighs, and even the belly.  This one has actually gotten worse for me since I have lost some weight because I have lots of skin that is flabbier than when it was full of chunk.  Now for the most part this cannot be avoided, but it can be a great motivator.  When I am running and start to get tired and decide that mile 7 just cannot be done, I pick up the pace and get to a nice run.  All of a sudden I am motivated to try harder because my body is giving me my own round of applause!

Cake Baby or Food Baby-  This one really depends on what you have just eaten, but it is when you eat so much that you can push your belly out and look anywhere from 4-13 months pregnant.  This one is popular in my family, we all show off our Food Babies at some time or the other.  This is universal for fat and skinny people.  Some call it bloating, others...Food Baby!

The Divot- This is another one of those conditions that is universal.  This is when your sports bra creates an outline of where it has been on your body.  This can actually become painful if left in one location for too long.  I do not like tight clothes, but my sports bra is really hanging on for dear life most of the time. I wear it tight to keep the girls pressed down. NASA could use the material from my sports bra because it is truly industrial to "hold up" to everything I put it through.

The Wave- This is when you lift your arm to wave at someone and your arm continues to wave back at you for the next 3 minutes.  This is most unfortunate when riding in the car with the window down.  If the wind catches the wave it can last for up to 10 minutes.

"Eat It, Eat It"-  You hear this a lot at the ball park when coaches want the ball players to let a girl on base to hold another runner and keep her from scoring.  In FatGirl terms this is a running commentary in the brain that has to be fought all the time.  Every now and then my commentary is accompanied by music so I get a little entertainment while fighting with my inner fat girl.  So if you ever see me walking down the street dancing, come talk to me and distract my mind, I can only fight it for so long.

The Flank Steak-  The fleshy fat part in the middle of the back and a prime cut of meat.  This can have some roles and can be unsightly under clothes if not properly smoothed out.  I like to wear a cami under my tighter fitting shirts to keep the Flank Steak smooth.  This is another one that has gotten considerably better since the 85lb. weight loss, but it still exists.

The Squish-  When wearing a bathing suit that has a hole cut in the back, Speedo, TYR, etc. the flank steak gets too confined and has to come out somewhere.  Sometimes that has to be the hole in the back of the bathing suit.  This is not a pretty site but cannot be helped, and as an advocate for the big girls I say WEAR YOUR BATHING SUIT WITH PRIDE, Squish and all.  You know there will be someone else wearing a bathing suit less flattering than yours...there always is!

These are just a few of my terms, and I hope you can better understand my language.  I hope you enjoy reading them as I have writing them.  My co-workers think I'm crazy because I have been sitting at my desk laughing as I was typing them out.

1 comment:

Myzdamena's World said...

I love this dictionary! Sooo true!

Gail xxx

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