Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Bipolar Post of the Day

I am aware that even before I type this post it is going to sound like I am a little bit unstable in my emotions, I am ok with you knowing that upfront because I am going to be all over the place.  Instead of two separate post I thought I would just fit Weight IN Wednesday and The Long Run Review all in one post.

Good or Bad first........let's start with bad because I would rather end on a good note.

My run this morning was terrible, awful, no good, very bad!  It has officially topped the list of horrible runs that you could possibly have.  It started off good and then took a turn for the worst.  The first 8 miles were wonderful, nice pace, plenty of stamina good running.  The 8 mile mark was the halfway point and then it went down hill (figuratively, it actually seemed like uphill the rest of the run.)  Mile 9 and 10 were just hard, but not terrible yet.  It was about mile 12 that I thought I was going to break down.  It seemed like I didn't have anymore kick....I would take a step and push off my back leg and just didn't go anywhere.  This was the first time I thought I was going to cry, notice first time.  About mile 13 the walk breaks were coming sooner and sooner and lasting longer and longer, but I was still running at this point.

I was determined to get my 16 miles in and I still don't know why today was so hard.  Last long run of 14 I felt great and could have kept going when it was over, today I was the 3 year old in the back seat constantly asking, "Are we there yet."  About mile 14 was the second time I thought I was going to cry, it was all flat and the perfect time to get to run for longer times but my body was just failing me.  Mile 13-15 were by far the worst, my breathing began to hurt because I started to panic a little bit...If I cant to 16 how in the world was I going to do 26?  As the panic set in so did the trouble breathing.  I was raging mad at this point, bless my running buddy's heart, I probably didn't say 10 words to her during these 2 miles because I was furious and just wanted to cuss somebody and hit them, and I was scared if I started to talk then I would cry, so I just kept my mouth shut. 

About mile 15 and a half or so I just decided that I still have a ways to go in my training and I couldn't quit now and there was no reason that I should still be having a pity party for myself.  Its not my friends fault so I could talk to her again and we ended the run with a nice little walk and got the entire mileage in, all 16 miles.

I am incredibly happy about the fact that I traveled 16 miles by foot today but I was also disappointed with myself and the fact that I did not finish strong.  And to top it all off I have a few blisters to remind me of this wretched run and my body is rejecting me.  Oh I hurt!!!!   The entire drive home I was not sure that I wasn't going to have to pull my car over to the side of the road and puke and it took me about 30 minutes laying flat on my back after the run to get to the point were I didn't think I was going to die.

My day quickly got better after the run (the bipolar part here.)  My weight today was down, actually "Weigh Down" haha I am laughing out loud at myself right now!  Today's weight was 227.4 down from 232 last week.  And I am thrilled with this loss.  I have been in a rut, we all know and flirting with the same 5 pounds for weeks now, and today I crossed the 228 barrier.  Lets keep this trend up!  I am so ready, more ready than ever to be at the 100lb mark and out of the 220's for good and today was a great reminder that I CAN lose weight.   Three more pounds to the 100 pound mark and I am just wondering if it is inappropriate to celebrate this milestone with a cake!

Then after the 30 minute supine position on the couch I got to go on a lunch date with one of my bestest buddies in the whole wide world who decided to go off and get married and move out of town so I have to snatch her up when she comes for a visit.  We had a marvelous lunch and I am feeling much better now, aside from the stabbing pain in my thighs and feet and the inability to stand up straight or get off the toilet!

Let me know how you did today on your Weigh In Wednesday!


Mind Over Fatter said...

Hey, sorry the run was a struggle but you did get through it. Glad the rest of your day was good and the weight loss - bravo!!!

Emily said...

Thanks for the sweet words...I need them after that run!

Elizabeth said...

it's really easy to have a bad long run, because it's loong! on a short run you know you're almost through no matter what. a marathon is more mental than didn't quit today which is the mental strength coming through! the physical will're still getting stronger!

Dianne said...

I still don't get the linky tool thing, and I don't remember the last time I weighed in...sounds like I'm throwing myself a pity party...anyway, I'm at 225...great job, by the way!

Emily said...

Beth, thanks! And thanks for the Power chews today, I had the Gu ones but they are not as good as the Powerbar ones.

Dianne, the linky thing is for others who have a blog. They can write a post with their weight and link it to my blog. If you send me your weight on Wednesday I will post it with mine, everyone just stopped sending them! I would love to have you continue your weekly weigh really does help.

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