Monday, September 26, 2011

Some Things Must Be Addressed

I have rules, maybe they are just my rules, but I think everyone in the whole wide world should follow.  I have posted on rules at the gym, rules for clothing, and I have even created a dictionary for girls out there so they know what I am talking about. I'm sure there are more out there but now I must address one more thing....Race Day Attire!!!!!

If you look like this...


then you can stop reading this post right now.  If you look like this then you can officially wear whatever the hell you want to on race day.  Since that is less than 1% of women the rest of you may want to stay here for just a few more minutes.

Rules:

1.  Wear something that is comfortable.  That is first and foremost.  If you are not comfortable then you can go ahead and assume that you will not run your best.

2.  Spandex:  This topic really has its own post but I will try to sum it up right here.  Spandex is a wonderful thing.  I know I am a lover of all things spandex.  I wear it for long runs and races, I have shorts for under baggier pants, and capris to wear alone.  Spandex comes in 6 different sizes!  XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL.  Please note that if you wear a XL in shorts that is probably the same size you wear in spandex.  If you think that by buying a size smaller that it will hold things tighter you would be right, but even spandex has a stretching limit and it will eventually stretch far enough to make the material thread bare and I will be able to see your butt crack.  Not to mention the muffin top that will come over the top of the waist band.  I am guilty of this one and I have the finish photos to prove it.  I am not proud of it.  But I have learned from my own mistakes, and now I plead, please please please buy pants that fit!!!

3.  Tops:  Now if you choose spandex pants for race day, congrats, you will not have chaffed thighs when the race is over.  It will make you a happy race finisher.  Now, lets talk about the top to go with those tight pants. 


This is the picture that helped me very much with race day wear.  Notice the pants fit but I decided to wear a tight shirt with the tight pants.  Not so cute for a plus size girl.  Not at all!  Notice the muffin top around the waist band.  I learned, wear a shirt that is long enough to cover the belly and the ass.  That way the rest of the race will not be making fun of you, or trying to take your picture throughout the race.

This was one of the greatest days of my life so I can look past the unfortunate outfit choice but I can also learn from it.

4.  Shorts:  Another option for bottoms on race day.  Some people like those tempo shorts that are shorter on the sides and longer in the middle.  They help with "The Creep" but some of us larger girls are not completely comfortable in the shorter shorts.  I wear a pair made by Moving Comfort that are the perfect length.  Tighter across the tush and high enough in the inseam to keep the thighs from rubbing together.  There is nothing wrong with long shorts (especially if you suffer from Thighitis...read the dictionary), you can put the small spandex shorts underneath or a little body glide to keep the chaffing problem under control.

4.  BRA:  The bra is an undergarment, which means, a garment that is made to be worn "UNDER" clothes!!!!!!!!  I beg, if you don't have the body above will you please wear a shirt over your bra!!!!



And for all things that are good and holy, if you must wear only a bra and you cannot stand the shirt or tank top over it, please wear a sports bra!  My sister actually saw a woman in a regular bra at the race this weekend.  That is NOT ok! 

That is all that I can think of at the moment, please know that I am liable to change and update these at anytime so you may want to check back from time to time.  I usually update these, dictionary, and rules after a race or a new "Party Foul" has been committed.

3 comments:

Adalita said...

great ideas - I have actually seen people run in compression tights and their undies on the outside. OMG not a good look!

Jane said...

That is hilarious. I wouldn't mind looking like Kara Goucher. Sometimes I pretend I do so that I will feel fast. ;)

Tri Chic ~ Jury said...

Love it!!! so true, some day I'll be able to comfortably run in tempo shorts until then, let's stick to the rules! lol

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